It's funny how I ended up here, in the blogesphere I mean. I was up late and felt the need to write an atypical Facebook post (for me anyway) and didn't realize until I was done (over 5,000 characters later) that the FB post limit is 420 characters. Good thing I'm not on Twitter. At any rate, rather than hacking up what I really wanted to say so that it would fit in FB world I decided to create a blog. Not sure where this new path will eventually take me. And I worry about that to tell you the truth lol.
I've been inspired and thinking about blogging for a while now thanks to three intelligent, passionate, visionary, and strong females who blog and I've been fortunate enough to call my friends. Thank you Darcie, Alyssa, and Christina. I may not compare and I might be faking it here at the starting line - in fact my jittery new blog fingers can't seem to find the correct keys often enough - but I think I'll be ok. If you like what you read or feel passionate on either side of the commentary you find along this path (however long or short it may end up being) always feel free to pipe in. But please at least be nice and diplomatic - I'm fragile, lol.
So here it goes... my first blog. The one that was prompted by a simple network tv show, a bit of insomnia, and an overweight Facebook post. Don't worry, they won't all be this deep.
WARNING: NOT THAD'S TYPICAL FACEBOOK POST.
This post is long - and it's late - I know. But I'm hoping that if you take a minute to read it that you just might feel a little differently when you're done. I'm glad you're here.
For some reason I wanted to tell you that I'm a little embarassed to say I teared up a bit watching Undercover Boss at home alone tonight. I know, I know ... go ahead and laugh. The stories of the people on the show are emotional of course, but I think it was due more to the fact that it hits home for me. You see, in the past few weeks I've been trying to do some soul searching (for whatever reason) which has prompted me to want to do a lot of "good" things for people for no reason other than the basic recognition of the common thread of the human need for recognition, love, and support. Some of these things have been done behind-the-scenes for people (some of whom I do not know) as well as trying to be more of a good and empowering friend to the few friends that I'm lucky enough to have. Helping someone realize how special they are is a really satisfying thing and to watch their face change and their shoulders strengthen because of what you've said, recognized, or acknowledged is awesome. I think that sometimes it's honestly because I too long for that more than I think I feel I receive it but nonetheless I still want to do more. (calling Dr. Freud)
When I watch a show like Undercover Boss or Extreme Home Makeover (et al) I get emotional. Not because of what I've seen on the tv but because I can FEEL the difference it just made to those people. Where has that feeling gone lately? Those of us that think we don't have the resources, or the time, or that it won't matter are WRONG. Giving someone just a little tiny boost can completely change their day and their heart, as it inevitably simultaneously changes yours as well. There's no way around it.
Have you been a little selfish or self-centered? I have. Do you have a friend or family member or someone that "knows" you love them but you haven't actually looked them in the eye and said it lately ... or given them a big smile and a hug for no reason? Have you forgotten to tell them how much you enjoy going to lunch with them or neglected to tell them how your day is so much better because they made you laugh? Well stop it! We've all been through a lot of shit the past few months and we need each other. Economic, political, religous, climate, petty differences and misunderstandings. Seriously - I know you feel it too. How 'bout a simple pat on the back, an arm around the shoulder, or a quick tug on their arm. And if your nose gets that all too unfamiliar "tickle" to it when you do this, then you know you're doing it right and you know it's been too long.
I'm suggesting you try this: Do one thing for someone tomorrow, selflessly, that you know there is no way you can be "paid" back for. Buy lunch for someone you know is going to be cutting it short because rent is due this week. And leave a little bigger tip for the server too - just a couple extra bucks than normal - (s)he works very hard for it and you can afford it (check your couch cushions or the car ashtray or don't buy that nice gum with the crunchy shell). Put some money in someone's parking meter that is about to expire. Take homemade cookies to work and share. Or call that toll-free number on your receipt and let Corporate know how good and pleasant the cashier was at that store. They'll never know it was you but boy it feels good to hear that after a long day at work. There are thousands of ideas and ways to pay it forward. Pick one!
Like I said, I've been trying to figure out how to be better and what it is that I'm supposed to be doing in life, and it probably isn't sitting up writing on Facebook at midnight when I have to work in the morning but dammit there's one thing I do know for sure... I didn't get here on my own. I have a great family and come from a great community. And each one of my facebook 'friends' - all 80 of you - had a little something to do with it too. Each of you is someone that has touched my life and you've each made your own impact. Trust me, I remember when I met EACH of you and I have memories of each of you too. And for that I thank you. I've never really been the one to show that very well. I've always felt a bit uncomfortable in my own skin I guess. Some people have really put me through some shit for whatever reason. But I'm going to try to change that and be better. You need me and I need you - otherwise we wouldn't both be on here reading about each others' happenings. And each of you know someone else that needs you too. Be there.
So remember ... tomorrow, choose just one thing to do for someone else who will never see it coming but will be so grateful you did it. You just might change their day ... and yours. Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with me. I'm curious to hear about it. Thanks for hanging in there! Good night. :)
PS: Boy, wait until my new-hires see me tomorrow!!
Well by reading the late night, emotional words of my ever intelligent, well-spoken and amazing big brother, it looks like, for whatever reason, both of our normally thick and tough exteriors have given way to the real feelings we keep tucked away deep down inside our hearts.
ReplyDeleteNeither you nor I were groomed to give way to our true feelings and were taught to be tough, independent and "never let 'em see you cry". I've found myself letting that bold and outspoken shell be chipped away as I've gotten older and I see the world through new eyes-those of my children.
I see now how vital it is that children (and people in general) see, feel and absolutely know the true meaning of love and compassion, and to know that it's OK to let your guard down and let people know who you truly are inside. Sometimes the most rewarding thing you can do for someone is something they'll never know YOU did. Not only does it help that person, but it warms your own heart as well.
As I've helped guide Ivy through the treacherous waters of an unkind, uncaring and non-present parent, I see the valuable lessons she's learned. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the trials and tribulations she has survived have helped shape her into a strong, indepedent, yet compassionate and caring young lady. She's taken what life has thrown her way, processed it, dealt with it, and has made the conscious decision to not use those life experiences as a crutch or an excuse to treat others poorly. She knows what it feels like to be hurt, and I believe with all my heart, that tremendous young lady will never knowingly harm another individual as she's been harmed. Sometimes, all she needed to hear was what an extraordinary person she is and how she is in complete control of how she feels and what her life is going to become. Where you come from, doesn't necessarily dictate where you will go or who you will become.
That strong-willed determination, I believe, comes from our family and upbringing. I also know that our family and upbringing have shaped you and I to be more stoic and sharp tongued than I think you or I would like. Because of that, I've tried extra hard to make sure I give both of my girls that extra hug, some kind words, and a form of compassion that they can use in their own lives, to shape what their lives will be, and also the lives of their future children. I've struggled and fought hard to show them a balance between compassion and determination.
As I get older I see every day how there is always someone in this world who is worse off than myself. After 18 years, I've taken my own medical issues and am finally able to understand that life isn't always fair, and it isn't always easy; but I control who I am inside. My life, and the hand that I've been dealt, may not always be fair and it may not always be easy, but ultimately, I am in control of how I react to it and what I do with it.
Each day, even if it's something as simple as smiling at the elderly gentlemen who comes in to pay his bill, or treating the recovering drug addict whose been arrested yet again with some respect and dignity, I can make a difference. Sometimes, that's all it takes to make a person's day, or even turn their life around.
I've seen my big brother move 2,000 miles from home, literally overnight, and often wondered how and where he found the strength to pack up and leave everything he'd ever known. Now I see what an incredible man that one single decision has helped turn you into. You've overcome hostility, adversity and lived the life "less traveled" in alot of people's eyes, and I have always loved and respected you for being the strong, confident and intelligent man I've known and looked up to for my whole life. Not a day goes by, big brother, that I don't think of you and thank God for blessing the world with your grace, compassion and intelligence. You are truly someone that I consider myself honored to know. I love you Thad!